03/08/09
Feb 24 (Tues): It seems a little surreal when I look at this but here's Grama's obituary. Andy says it's the longest one she's ever seen, but I was the one who wanted all of us grandkids mentioned. Grama also had many charities she gave to - only a few are referred to.
Unfortunately, the drama has not yet stopped. Aunt Debbie's Gabe is in the hospital. There's suspicion he wasn't taking all of his insulin, possibly by accident. This would explain why he was acting quite volatile lately. Unfortunately, because he wasn't home while Debbie was dealing with Grama's arrangements with Mom and their siblings, the puppy was left on her own in the house and ripped out the insulation from the patch job around the back door that Andy and I did a few months ago. This morning, I shopped for materials, then went over, re-patched, added some better spray-foam I'd found, then tacked up some white panel board to cover it (we didn't have anything to cover it with back when we did the insulation).
Got a post card today from Andy's brother, Ash, from his trip to New Zealand a few weeks ago. Looks very inviting. Thanks for the post card Ash.
Andy is in the "Day 7 - 10" after chemo range now, so is at her weakest. I had to bring her lunch in bed today. She's whacked, but at least if she's sleeping, she's not getting bored. She had some rather disturbing news from her company yesterday....they have had to lay off more people and are looking at "Work-Share" for the office staff.
Feb 23 (Mon): HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONICA! She is now the same age as Andy. By the way, I forgot to mention yesterday that the van is totaled! It got hit just at the correct angle to break the front suspension and many other parts. It would cost more to fix it than it's worth. The insurance company will give Scot and Monica a settlement and they are now van shopping.
Feb 22 (Sun): So, enough of the drama already!
Some good news is that the cop that responded to Monica's accident on Friday caught the guy that hit her (and ran). As promised, he patrolled the area where it happened at about the same time on Saturday and sure enough he spotted the other car. The guy claimed his light had been green (still doesn't explain leaving the scene), so the cop called one of the witnesses. He has now been charged, and Scot and Monica don't have to pay any deductible. There is some justice in the world - and we are all so completely amazed and thrilled that the cop got him.
As for Grama, Mom and Aunt Debbie were with her when she passed away yesterday at 1:30 pm. I had been there in the morning for 45 minutes. She so needed to go and we are all so glad she isn't suffering anymore. She couldn't move at all, couldn't really talk (didn't say a word while I was there), couldn't suck from a straw anymore, could barely open her eyes, and was labouring to breathe. She was also very bloated and was having so much pain, they gave her morphine. She didn't want a funeral, so there will only be a private, family memorial whenever it can be organized. She is being cremated and Mom's brother has offered to take her ashes to Nova Scotia, where she grew up. Tomorrow, Mom and Scot are going to clean out her room at the home.
I was close to Grama throughout my life. I visited and stayed with her in Florida a couple times plus we wrote often when she was down there for the winters - and I still have many of those letters. We did road trips together to Nashville and Nova Scotia, she spent a great deal of time at my parent's house, and I cut her grass and visited with her weekly during summer months. After I got my driver's license, I was often her chauffeur as she didn't like driving any more. When I was younger, sometimes she would take us, grandchildren, for a picnic on the Grand River in Caledonia and sometimes she would take us to the Royal Botanical Gardens. The Rock Garden was her favourite and we always had a treat at the café. She often came and got Scot and I on hot summer evenings and took us for ice cream, and she loved nothing better than a birthday cake with money in it, so that we could tear the whole thing apart to find the last "missing quarter". Grama was also a huge fan of Andy's and was so pleased we had found each other.
Saturday morning, while I went for groceries and to see Grama, Andy was watched over by Aunt Sharon and Uncle Lanny. When I got back, to selfishly help improve my mood after seeing Grama, I suggested we show them Guitar Hero.
It did a lot to boost our egos....watching them struggle to play, that is! They were very good sports and we laughed with them, not at them. After they left, we both laid down for much needed naps, and when Mom called to tell us about Grama, I could hardly get up. After a great deal of blubbering, I pulled myself together and took Andy for an outing....to Costco. She enjoyed herself but this was a big, exhausting outing. I then soothed myself with Tex-Mex take-out, including virgin Strawberry Daiquiri (I took a Thermos to the restaurant!), for dinner and it was so good! Poor Andy has now lost almost all of her sense of taste. This is one of the side-effects from chemo. She's now focusing on enjoying the texture, but everything tastes like cardboard. Andy's hair was also still bothering her, even as short as it was. She was going to try to buzz it all the way off (the last half centimetre), but I stepped in and took over. To go any shorter, we would need to use the razor (as opposed to the electric clippers).
But then, as we watched the Canucks game, her head got cold.
Just call her Comrade Canuck!
I took lots of drugs last night so actually slept the best in ages. This morning, after I shoveled a couples centimetres of snow, I had to go to work for several hours. I have had to miss or leave early a lot lately, so had some catching up to do. Work is being very supportive and is not counting the missed hours, but I had several things that needed to be done by tomorrow - and now I can stay home tomorrow on a bereavement day without worrying about things. Andy was actually up to a few chores while I was gone. She got some laundry done, cleaned the bathroom sink and mirror, and made her own breakfast and lunch.
In the afternoon, we zipped over to Blockbuster and then watched:
It wasn't as tongue-in-cheek as I was expecting. The makers tried to make it as true to life as possible, but from a now historical standpoint, it was very interesting. Also, Josh Brolin was very believable as W.
Afterward, Andy was starting to feel bored, so I suggested she get started on this:
That's right Huguette! It's the Niagara Falls puzzle you gave her. She worked on it for ages!
Feb 21 (Sat): Grama's gone.
Freda Mae (Sullivan)
Dukes
June 19th, 1925 - February 21st, 2009
You are already missed.
Feb 20 (Fri): It's been quite a day. Monica came over and Andy-sat this morning after she got the kids on the bus to school. My noon meeting was postponed so I was actually able to come home at lunch. This was good because Monica was worried about leaving Andy before Carol got here, but she had a hair appointment to get to. Carol was worried she would be a little late because she had physio and sometimes they run behind. So, I was able to fill the gap and everyone was happy.....until.....
As I sat eating my lunch, the phone rang. It was Monica calling from down the street. She'd been in an accident. I dropped my knife and fork, yelled at Andy what had happened and headed to the corner of Prospect and Brant. The intersection was clear but I spotted Monica's van pulled off into a parking lot. She had been stopped at the intersection in the left-turn lane. The light turned green so she started to creep ahead. A car ran the red light, horns went off and she was saying out loud something like, "What the heck are you doing!?!" and that's when BAMM!!! Another guy ran the red light and hit the nose of the van. Monica's ok.
I know a picture doesn't always show it perfectly, but if you compare the two front tires, you can see that the one on the right is turned further. Aside from the small dent, the wheel is bent on the axle. It was undrivable.
Luckily, two witnesses stopped and gave Monica their names. One of these was the lady whose phone Monica called me from (because Scot accidentally took both their cellphones with him today). This lady had also called 911 because the driver who hit the van left the scene. He stopped, got out, and looked at his car. The next time Monica looked up he was gone. She had been more worried about clearing the intersection and now she's a bit angry at herself that her first priority wasn't to get the license number or any info on him or his car.
When I arrived at the van, I started taking pictures of everything and everyone around. I didn't know what had happened at this point, but it turns out I was taking pictures of the nice witnesses. I called work to say I probably wouldn't be back today then waited with Monica. I got her story, then called the insurance company to get the name of an approved auto-body shop. Next I called the insurance broker and got the claim started (Unwisely, I called Mom to get the number for the broker, unintentionally upsetting her). The police seemed to be taking a while so I called the non-emergency number and made sure they knew we were in the parking lot. In reality, he came after about 45 minutes - but I had to pee really bad so it felt like longer. Of course, the bitterly cold wind didn't help either, but most of the time we sat in my car.
We couldn't reach Scot as they never leave their cellphones on - "they're only for emergencies" and besides, he was in a teaching session. Although Monica wasn't hurt, she was quite shaken up and couldn't think of what she should do, so I was glad I was there. Once the very nice policeman came, he took Monica's CAA card along with her license, registration and insurance info, and went and called the tow truck. I hadn't wanted to call them before he arrived. He did his paperwork, we waited some more, sent the van off with the tow truck to the appointed shop, then came home so I could pee! Phew!
I then drove Monica home and waited with her while she got the kids from the bus. I stayed a few more minutes till I was sure she was ok, then got home about 4:30. Luckily, she's now managed to get someone to take her 12-hour night-shift tonight as I think she will crash hard once the adrenalin wears off.
In other news, apparently Grama is now non-responsive. Last night she told Mom repeatedly that she wants to die. Aunt Sharon and/or Uncle Lanny are coming over tomorrow morning to stay with Porcupine-Head while I go get groceries and then go see Grama.
As for Porcupine-Head herself, she slept lots again today, but has now been up a few hours and has eaten a very good amount! Yay.
Feb 19 (Thurs): Andy started to perk up a bit this afternoon and she actually ate a whole cheeseburger and bun for dinner. Of course, then she felt ill because that's a lot for her these days. She is having waves of nauseau this time (post-chemo) and was pretty wiped, but seems to be almost back to status quo of the last few weeks. Also, she's lost quite a bit more hair so the half-centimetre fuzz on her head looks a lot less patchy.
Yesterday, I went and got her a supply of UltraMeal bars. When I'd asked her how much they were, she told me 89 cents. Well, didn't I then get a big shocker when the cashier asked me for $65 for 16 bars. So much for 89 cents - they are about $4 each! But, since Andy can slowly nibble at them and they are portable - and they satisfy her chocolate craving, they are worth it....for now! ;-) Carol called tonight and told me I should get Andy some 'Ensure Plus' as it has the highest calories of all the supplement shakes, so I will have a look at them when I go for groceries Saturday and make sure they're not sweetened with refined sugar.
Thanks very much to Georgina and her children, Juliette and Dominic, in Australia, for the special, home-made card that arrived today for Andy. Andy and George were housemates while doing their PhDs at Bristol University many moons ago. George and her husband, Tim, also visited us in Vancouver for a few days years ago, but I still remember it firmly.....probably because the weather was so cold and miserable, but they were such brave souls, even venturing out to tourist spots in green garbage bags as makeshift rain ponchos. I also remember it was the end of October, because the four of us went to the Pumpkin Patch, but there was so much rain that it was actually a mud bog and therefore closed. We then bought pumpkins at the Farmer's Market and washed the caked-on mud from them in the puddles in the parking lot, then went home and carved together. Thanks again for the card! PS - Love the Nemo hat and bug stickers!
We had an experience today that has brought a warm, fuzzy feeling to both of us, so we have to share. First, some background.....years ago, our Financial Planner brought a new product to our attention called "Critical Illness Insurance" (now called "Life Advance Benefits"). It's like "Life Insurance", but instead of paying out for death, it pays out for a potentially life threatening illness such as Lymphoma. The idea is that you then have money for anything you need or want, like if you want to fly to a specialty clinic in another country for treatment, or if you want to travel while you still can. We sent in the claim with all the corroborating paperwork from the doctors and hospital 3 weeks ago from tomorrow. Today, without a hitch, Andy received the settlement. We hope we never need it to fly to a specialty clinic in another country, but now it's earning interest.
The warm and fuzzy part is: Along with the settlement came a letter and a form. To our shock, it was a lovely letter from the insurance company, "Ms. Gibbs, we hope that this cheque will assist you as you go through this period of dealing with your illness and are pleased we could be of service to you." Can you believe it? And the topper is this....."In addition, Canada Life would like to make a $500 donation, on your behalf, to a charity of your choice." And then there is a form for Andy to fill out and return on which she will specify which charity she chooses, plus it has a suggested list of Canadian societies and foundations. We are positively impressed. Kudos to Canada Life.
Feb 17 (Tues): Andy's chemo today went quite well. See her Lymphoma log for details. She's pretty tired tonight, but at least we don't have to go back this time. I was able to lay on the bed with her most of the day (kitty-corner) so even got some rest myself - and there was a very convenient ledge beside us, wide enough for the laptop, so I watched a couple movies. Andy was too tired to join me. Tomorrow, Beryl comes to Andy-sit, then Huguette on Thursday as she has taken a "Volunteer Day" from work (I never knew such a thing existed! Government workers, eh?), and Monica will come Friday morning, then Carol in the afternoon. Dad had been booked for Friday morning, but he has one of those colds that won't quit. Note the lovely, bright, pink pillow in the one picture of Andy lying down at the hospital. I just happen to smartly pack that in my backpack and am quite pleased with myself (if you can't tell) that it was useful!
Feb 15 (Sun): Wednesday night, we had a helluva windstorm - average winds at 50 - 60 kph with gusts up to 90 kph, plus heavy rain. It was pelting against the windows. So much for sleep. I was mostly awake from about 3:30 am even though I moved to the couch in the basement. Got the flashlight out a few times and checked if the roof was leaking any further, but it seemed ok.
Mom called me Thursday night to say that if I wanted to see Grama before she goes, I'd better hurry. I'd planned to go Saturday morning anyway, but when I woke up Friday, I decided to go. When I got there Grama was sleeping peacefully, so I let her be for a while. I'd slept lousy again so propped myself up on a couple chairs and dozed until Ferdie brought Grama's breakfast and we woke her up. She was pretty groggy and would only wake up enough to have some juice, so I said goodbye and went to work.
Late Friday afternoon, Andy and I went to the Naturopath to check in regarding Andy's condition. Our newest challenge is her weight. Even though she's been eating decently, she has been losing a pound per week and is down to 107. I had got up Friday morning proclaiming that Andy needs to eat more fatty beef and the dark meat from poultry. She'd already switched to high-fat milk and is using more butter among other strategic changes. Carissa, the Naturopath, suggested more eggs, and that we need to also be sure to increase protein as we increase fat. She recommended a protein powder that is not sweetened with sugar, that we can add fatty oil and ground flax seed to. The same company also make Protein bars - and one that is chocolate flavour.
I also got a B12 shot for myself from Carissa as I have been feeling run down. I think it helped. When we got home, Andy rested a bit, then we went for an early Valentine's dinner out to Emma's Back Porch.
I'm happy to report Andy had some very fatty Spinach and Artichoke Dip before her large Open Face Steak Sandwich. Afterward, she told me that her scalp was getting sore from her hair tugging at it when she turns her head on her pillow. She asked me to cut it short. I did my best to stick to her specifications.
Saturday morning, after Andy & I opened our Valentine's card, including one from Ben and Grace, I went back to the home and had a longer, more conscious visit with Grama. Mom was also there. In the afternoon, Andy & I went back to our little cinema and saw:
Another true story very well done. Andy was bothered all the way through the movie as to why she recognized the guy playing David Frost. I told her it was Tony Blair from "The Queen". OH YAAAAAH!!!!! My only problem with the movie is that Frank Langella just didn't look anything like Nixon to me, so as much as I enjoyed the history, I couldn't buy him in the part.
This morning Andy had a visitor. Julie from her work came by with a big "Get Well" card, signed by all the staff.
She stayed a little while till Andy was looking pretty pasty. She also brought some home-made Brownies. Andy rested after she left then went for a walk. When she got back she asked me to cut her hair again - in fact, to buzz it. She had so many bald spots that she just couldn't leave her head alone.
Brace yourself......here is the result.
She says it feels SO much better now and her head is not cold at all so far. It feels really weird to me. She says she now looks like a Holocaust survivor. Hey, at least she said "survivor", not "victim"!!!
As for the weight issue, I "encouraged" her to have a prime rib burger for lunch today - 34 grams of fat plus whatever the slab of cheese on top was. I also "persuaded" her to have eggs for breakfast both yesterday and today. She's pretty good about having the protein shakes herself - must be the chocolate!
Feb 11 (Wed): So.....Andy's started to shed like a cat. This afternoon, I went into the bathroom after she showered and you'd never know I vacuumed it yesterday. In fact, you would think it hadn't been vacuumed for a month. And in the bathtub it looked like there might soon be a drain that needs unclogging! It's not coming out in large tuffs (yet), but is more like I said....shedding. How very suitable for this house. Last night she pulled many strands out at the back of her head with not much effort - that's was when she first noticed it was starting.
+8o and pouring here today. Hey, better rain than snow till my shoveller is back in the game and it will help rinse away all the muck from sanded and salted streets, driveways and sidewalks. Supposed to start getting colder again tomorrow, so more snow may still be on the way. England's also been getting more than a taste of snow. I wanted to wrap up a proper snow shovel like ours and mail it to Andy's Dad, but Andy just laughed at me.
Feb 8 (Sun): Friday it was starting to get warmer, but Andy still bundled up for her walk around the block when I got home from work.
Note how high the snow is beside the driveway. Last time I shoveled I had trouble lifting it high enough. I even had to carry some down the sidewalk to throw it on the lawn where there was space.
Yesterday morning, Andy had her first, official, "public" outing since chemo. She came with me to wash the car and then we wandered around Canadian Tire (though she did find and make use of a few, conveniently placed chairs for sale). We were after a couple things from the sale flyer. The most important item was a Honeywell Air Purifier.
It stands as high as the dining room table and we've put it between the living and dining rooms. With my asthma acting up lately and Andy's lack of immune system, we figured it couldn't hurt. It's got Hepa-Filters, "UV Germ Reduction Technology", and an "odour-control carbon-zeolite filter". We can't use the Ionizer as apparently it irritates asthma.
Beautiful, sunny day again today, though not as warm as yesterday. Today it was +1o, but yesterday it was +6o. We got a much needed, huge melt. In fact, we had a brief panic as snow melted straight into the house. Andy noticed water on the floor at the top of the stairs on the main level. At first, we were confused, but then I looked up. It was dripping down from the attic hatch. We put a bucket down and I called dad, but he said there's not much you can do till it dries up and the snow on the roof is gone. We also speculated that the wind yesterday may have been blowing melting snow into a vent. I managed to get the ladder in the house and Andy helped me get it in place to the hatch above the stairs. I went up and found that water was dripping from directly above where the two sides of the house join, so I was able to put the bucket on the hatch ledge.
We then went out for a couple hours and came back to find that not much more at all had come in. There wasn't even half a centimetre in the bucket. Phew. So, either the wind blew it in somehow or there is a crack in the flashing. We'll have to get a roofer to come take a look.
Our afternoon outing was to the cinema. We saw:
It was very good...a true story and told very well. I give it 8.5 out of 10. In the evening we started watching a movie that Andy liked years ago, so looked it up and ordered a copy:
It's also quite good - better than I expected for being almost 20 years old. Today, Huguette came over and we went back to the cinema and saw:
It was also very good...also a true story and told extremely well. I give it a 9 out of 10. I didn't know any of this history of the fight for gay rights. Wow.
I have to show you my latest gift to Andy.
It's a bed tray with side compartments. I saw it on Friday and, since Andy has spent the majority of her time either sleeping or resting, I thought it was perfect. Luckily, she doesn't mind Lightning McQueen as the only other choice was Dora the Explorer!
As for Andy's status, she's slightly less tired. Yesterday, she managed to cut my hair. Today she dyed my very long roots and rode her racing bike on the trainer for 7 minutes as well as doing some BowFlex. She rode a bit Friday too. She's also spent a bit more time upright at her work computer. However, when she does sleep, lucky for me, she's out cold. Yesterday morning, I banged and clanged around the kitchen washing dishes, etc. This morning, I was up, got a load of laundry on, then clattered around making myself pancakes and microwaved bacon for breakfast. When she woke up she couldn't believe I had already eaten and she hadn't heard a thing. I have employed my wireless headphones for the kitchen TV, but I guess I really don't need them.
Grama is still hanging on and has a funky new bed to try to help with the bed sores. It's an air mattress...but it works like an air hockey table...so she is basically floating very slightly.
Feb 4 (Wed): Status quo day. Andy was pretty tuckered out again and slept the entire afternoon, but then we enjoyed a nice walk around the block when I got home from work - though my cheeks got pretty darn frozen thanks to the -12o temperature (Saturday is supposed to be +7o). Thanks to everyone for your cards, emails and calls. Much appreciated!
Feb 3 (Tues): After 3 days of trying to upload the slideshow I made for Mom's 65th Surprise Birthday Party, I found it had uploaded 5 times - even though I kept getting a message that it failed. Grrrrrr. It can be viewed at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLwJWu29dk4
Andy had her best day yet since chemo. She didn't need an afternoon nap and even did a load of laundry. I have protested that she shouldn't overdo it, but she has reassured me that she is fine. We didn't get to go for a walk tonight because I was busy shovelling almost a foot of snow. It was very pretty when it first started falling this morning.
Hurrah! Mumsy finally got her birthday parcel today that we sent November 5th. Even though it was a rather large box, we still think that 3 months is ridiculous. As soon as we get sent a picture of "Seymour", I will post it. Seymour is a wooden, cut-out deer. When Mumsy and Dad were here in August/September, they got one of these at the Winona Peach Festival. It was called Philmore. After that Andy and her Dad decided it should have a friend.
Feb 1 (Sun): Did you see the picture on Andy's Lymphoma Log of the removed stitches from her groin? Creeps me out to look at it, personally!
Thanks to Huguette, who came over yesterday to hang out with Andy while I went for groceries. I was gone for a couple hours and came back to find the two of them had just got back from a walk around the block. Andy then had some lunch and went to bed. After Huguette and I ate, I dragged her downstairs to show her how to play some Wii games. Huguette, I know you are reading this, but I have to tell the truth.....you just could not wrap your head around Tennis!!! We tried with the racquets and without. Man, she just couldn't get the timing right!!! (I am being kind.) We then moved on to baseball. That went better, especially the pitching side for Huguette. Thank you for playing with me, Huguette.
Andy arrived just as we were finishing up the game. Then we insisted that Huguette let us show her Guitar Hero. Andy can play the guitar sitting down, "Jeff Healey-style", so that it is not too taxing on her. I played the drums and Huguette watched. Then I cajoled Huguette into trying the drums.
We started her on "Easy" and it was as bad as tennis. (The levels are Beginner, Easy, Medium, Hard, Expert. Andy and I have never got above Medium). Huguette got booed off stage pretty quickly, so we took her down to Beginner. On this level, all you have to do is find the beat....it doesn't matter what you hit, as long as it is on the beat. I am happy to report that she got a score of about 56%.
Andy then showed off, playing 3 songs on Medium. After that she found herself out of breath and energy and had to retire, pretty much for the rest of the day!
This is how it goes. Andy is not throwing up or even nauseous (and she's even eating a quite acceptable amount), but she exhausts very easily - and it comes on really quickly. There's no fade, just a crash and a person shuffling away to lay down. There is still 4 - 5 months of this to go, so we shall see how things evolve.
Today, much to my surprise, Andy arrived in the basement about 4:30 pm asking to go for a walk. I was taken aback because she'd been so tired and weak all day. She'd got up in the morning, had some breakfast, talked with her parents for a while, then went to lay down. About 20 minutes later, Scot and I were doing a videochat test and Andy dragged herself back down the stairs, against my protests. Even though I said we could call them back later, she wanted to catch the kids before their attentions turned elsewhere. After 10 - 15 minutes chatting, Andy was toast. She went back to bed. I could've vacuumed over her head and it wouldn't have bothered her - and I almost did, as I needed to get the housework done.
A couple hours later, looking quite pale, she was up for "lunch" (a Boost and two pieces of cheese), and asked me if I would help her have a shower. She was looking so weak that I got a bit worried. I suggested a bath would be better, but you all know how "tenacious" she can be. So, a shower we had. She leaned on me and I helped her get washed and dried. Soon thereafter she went back to bed. Tonight, we've had our walk around the block, she had another rest, now is up, has eaten a decent sized dinner, had some Berry Smoothie for dessert, and is watching TV.
So, I found out today that Mumsy has changed cellphone plans and therefore her cellphone number since they were here visiting in August. So.....I wonder who got all those text updates regarding chemo on Tuesday and Wednesday????
Talked to my Mom mid-afternoon. She is SO sick. She picked up a nasty flu at the nursing home and was throwing up half the night, in bed all day with shakes and sweats, and when we were hanging up Dad was just making her some Chicken Noodle Soup to see if that would stay down. Apparently, it's a 48 hour flu and had hit the home hard - plus is really bad timing for Mom as she is supposed to go back to work tomorrow afternoon. For Andy's sake, I'm just glad it happened after Mom's Andy-sitting day. Hopefully, Dad won't catch it, but I think there is a small chance of that. Grama didn't have it yet, but if she gets it, it will likely finish her off. Mom and the nursing home staff have speculated that Grama will pass away tonight because it was 3 days ago that she perked up a little bit. I just feel bad I can't go see her, but I can't chance bringing germs home to Andy.
We had a really nice day today - bright sun and up to 2o. It did a lot of good for melting the numerous inches of snow on the roofs and the remnants of shovelling on the driveway. Andy's parents said they are supposed to get some of the white stuff themselves. Happy shovelling!